Relationships of every kind have choice moments and challenges times. So what do you do when one of your most important relationships - your marriage - experiences a rough patch due to money issues?

Follow these five steps to develop a stronger relationship with your money and your mate.

1. Divorce the Debt, Not Each Other - When you've gotten in over your head the first response is to shame and blame. This is natural  but the victim doesn't have to be your spouse. Instead, agree to attack the problem of debt and what caused it - not each other.
   
   You'll need to get very clear on what you owe because often a big source of frustration comes from being vague or uncertain about just how big the problem really is. When you know the size of your "opponent" you can plan for a much more strategic attack.
   
   Write everything down, don't leave anything to chance or memory. Seeing the numbers clearly and looking at the reality of your situation will allow you to make a list of clear priorities and assign specific action to each issue.
   
    
2. Renew Your Vows - Couples must commit (or recommit) to become full financial partners and agree to a set of long-term lifestyle goals that you'll work towards reaching together.
   
   Take a step back from simply going through the motions of living day-to-day and paycheck-to- paycheck and really think about the type of life you want to have now and in the future. It's NEVER too late to change course. Let your goals drive your financial decisions and use them as a guide for when you're making a short-term decision that might have a long-term consequence.
   
    
3. Pull Your Weight - While one person will inevitably play a larger role in managing the family finances it does not mean that the other can just sit back and watch. The way you handle money may never be a 50/50 spilt of responsibilities but each person should play a regular and active part in how the money is handled.
   
   If she tracks the bills, expenses and income then he should have the responsibility of opening all the bills and sorting them by due date. The physical connection to what's going on financially creates a sense of ownership which makes the commitment to the relationship and your finances stronger.
   
    
4. Confront and Conquer - Often couples become too casual when it comes to dealing with money matters, this relaxed money management style can lead to a head on collision with financial disaster. To avoid a financial pile-up, set a regular weekly or at least monthly time to talk specifically about the state of your financial union.
   
   Use this time to discuss what bills are upcoming, how much money is available for necessary purchases and assess where you are in reaching short-term and long-term goals.
   
   Block out a set time for the meeting. Have an agenda. Don't allow the meeting to drag on. Stay on track and only discuss money concerns. Respect each other by being fully present and prepared with calculator, pen and paper.
   
    
5. Consider Counseling - The counselors at National Foundation for Credit Counseling (NFCC) and Consumer Credit Counseling Service (CCCS) are trained to help you find solutions that you might not be aware of for repaying debt, negotiating with creditors for more favorable interest rates, getting fees removed and putting you on a more solid financial footing. And best of all, there is no cost for the services they provide.
   
   To speak with the credit counselors at NFCC, call (301) 589-5600, or visit www.nfcc.org and for CCCS, call (800) 251-2227, or visit www.cccsatl.org for more information.
   
   The bottom line is everyone could use a little help from time to time. Admitting that you need some guidance with handling your money, or your marriage doesn't make you weak. It actually makes you stronger and sets you up for success.